realise and accept our 

addiction for living in duality  by the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru

Jealousy is difficult to be …. understood.

… but also accepted.

Psychology says that “it is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from suspicion to rage to fear to humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined.”

I would define it … mainly saying that it is related to the fear of not losing our partners.

But .. many times it is mixed … with the feelings of possession.

Unfortunately … it’s difficult to get rid of that … unless we have a partner which is a great psychologist … or know all about love … or we simple learn to practice the detachment.

I’ve recently saw a love movie about a couple which was experiencing an amazing love story.

They were both of middle age … and never been into such a relationship… so all looked … like in fairy tales.

Well … except the fact that he could stand as her to say even a simple “Hello” to another man.

He was just driving crazy seeing that.

And … if it happened that she really had to change few words with any man … no matter of age or his physical appearance… it was all … horrible.

He made her a scandal for … maybe at least … for a week.

So …all was perfect, but unfortunately they had lots of ridiculous moments induced by the fact that he was extremely possessive.

… 100% a movie inspired from a real case scenario.

But … having this show on and on and on … till one point when she realised that if one man comes to talk with her she should just run away so that she will not generate again another jealousy crisis … he comes with the idea to do something together and start to treat this ugly feelings which were dominating his soul.

One day … she comes to his house and finds him in the company on his friends … Elvis and Tim.

Smiling to her … with a little bit of fear into his voice … he suddenly says… “Emma … i come to you with a weird proposal … but i believe that trick might help me … start the process of cure for my ridiculous jealousy.

I want you to relax … and allow my 2 friends to undress you … in front of my eyes.”

Shocked … she replies … “You’re crazy! You would just kill me in a millisecond if i do that.

I would also dislike it …

But how can you come with such a stupid idea?! ….”

“Well … knowing how a man is thinking… I actually see into their eyes how they would love to undress you … and make love with you.

They pretend they speak with you … about different things … but …

And … i just lose my minds.

So …. I’ve made this arrangement with Elvis and Tim … to do this show in front of my eyes … inducing me the illusion that they will seduce you … take off your clothes … and then …

Actually … into the last moment … when i feel that i totally lose control on myself … you come to me … and we start making love … calming one more time … my mind.”

The movie itself was amazing … trying to send this powerful message that a love story …can be a great way of having therapy together.

So into the end … they just did the experiment.

And even … repeated it.

Actually… he came to a point when he had started to enjoy all … even asking his friends to touch her … and to really pretend in front of his eyes that … they will make love for real … and she will allow to be seduced.

But one day … realising he will not really fool his mind for real … cause he was understanding all was an

arrangement … he comes to her and says … “Listen to me …. I can’t really get rid of this stupid jealousy … cause is actually a mix of jealousy and possession and i can’t accept to share you.

Today … i can’t fool my mind anymore.

I just can’t.

It’s like we are actors into a movie and we just play the roles that the scenarist wrote.

So … we have to go further.

Both Elvis and Tim like you.

I know that.

Maybe you like them too.

So … I believe it’s time to allow them to touch you and even make love with you for real … in front of my eyes.”

She was shocked … again.

“I can’t believe it. Seeing that you are losing your minds by this obsession for me … and in fact totally losing the control on yourself … you just want to go further … till a point when you’ll actually lose me.

You’ll practice the detachment.

You’ll succeed it.

You’ll defeat your fears … but in fact you’ll become indifferent.

I’ll be just a woman … having an erotic show in front of your eyes.

You’ll enjoy it ….

… but you’ll lose me.

I’ll not be in your soul anymore.

So … what if i come to you with another proposal … which might be a better one … cause i can’t live without you.

What if … i start to accept your jealousy and speak with you in those moments of craziness and calm you?!”

Most certainly … the movie was revealing to me that some couples know to treat each other as real psychologists … and it’s so bad cause many others can’t do it.

Maybe … we … all … should think of doing that.

Movies are many times clearly motivating us to see lots of similarities between our experiences … and how others are experiencing life … and maybe guide us …

Unfortunately … soon after leaving the cinema … we just forget all.

So … life continues… just stupid …

Download the book ”Mr & Mrs FREUD  

in love … but still playing psychological games – 

philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE. 

Amazon – 

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